You made me cry and you don't even care
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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