you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
