I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
