I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
