Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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