Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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