i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
