Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
