For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
