D3 body, D1 cock
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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