turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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