if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
