I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
