Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
