dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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