ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
