You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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