i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
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And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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