i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
