that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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