it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
