Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
