yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
