There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
