Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
