The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
they're like a gay fantastic four
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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