Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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