im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
