so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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