Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Operation Purity has been aborted
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!