Yo dont text me then not text me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE