I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
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He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
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Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.