yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
They have beer where we have blood.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...