i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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