cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
