absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
