Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So squirting runs in the family.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
