Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
