did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
