Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
