remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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