Sorry, I don't speak sober.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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