what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
