and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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