I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
