Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
