You can't motorboat a personality
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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