I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
