Texts From Last Night

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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.

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  (848): life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward. http://tfl.nu/gey7
  Replies (10) Good night (1009) Bad night (2929)
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  (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

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  (518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh
  Replies (20) Good night (2250) Bad night (714)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.

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  (201): Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision. http://tfl.nu/ohzv
  Replies (7) Good night (4421) Bad night (624)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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  (404): So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat? http://tfl.nu/7wij
  Replies (12) Good night (5657) Bad night (1049)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

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  (336): I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/7krg
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (3438)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth

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  (303): That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ml2x
  Replies (7) Good night (1019) Bad night (3831)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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  (757): just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life http://tfl.nu/it50
  Replies (5) Good night (1039) Bad night (2418)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.

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  (608): he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling. http://tfl.nu/i2wo
  Replies (10) Good night (667) Bad night (2817)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.

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  (484): Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar. http://tfl.nu/31fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5930) Bad night (870)
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  (707): View more from California

  He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

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  (707): He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/ve7z
  Replies (21) Good night (7284) Bad night (1061)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.

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  (843): great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/cndy
  Replies (5) Good night (1707) Bad night (738)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me

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  (479): Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me http://tfl.nu/g33s
  Replies (5) Good night (1818) Bad night (592)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer

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  (518): We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer http://tfl.nu/x68v
  Replies (2) Good night (1418) Bad night (405)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?

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  (724): Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin? http://tfl.nu/jzs7
  Replies (9) Good night (1167) Bad night (544)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.

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  (910): Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here. http://tfl.nu/sd9v
  Replies (1) Good night (945) Bad night (293)

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