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• (917): View more from New York City

  He disabled his match.com account in front of me

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

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• (760): View more from California

  i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.

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