I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi