How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...