I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
pray to the hookup gods
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.