you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
