Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.