so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
