I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
