I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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