That's intense
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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