Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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