My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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