Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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