Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
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There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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