I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
