what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Randomize
