I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
