i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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