Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
MIDGETS
????
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
