i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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