:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
