Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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