Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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